BEAUTY MATTERS!??
I am an 18 years old girl in a small city of Pakistan. I live a busy life, wondering, this is all I do. Shout my name at the top of your lungs, I simply won’t hear you because I am wondering. Wondering, “How is this acceptable? Why is it so? Why is it normal, what, how”? “The sky is pretty does it know? When does the sky love itself the most? At sunset, sunrise, cloudy, sunny, starry? Am I like the clouds? When do I like myself the most? Why is it so rare that I look into the mirror and find the person I see bearable enough to look at other times I don’t? Why do my friends complain about their looks? Who decides beautiful and ugly? Isn’t it weird how white color, tall and thin is associated with being “beautiful?” My mother never told me what beauty was.
Who gets to decide? I remember the first time I realized I am not pretty is when my “friends” made fun of my skin color and how unattractive my hands were. That’s when I really wondered, BEAUTY MATTERS!?? Beauty exists? This is when I started realizing I am dark, I don’t have a pretty nose, I have uneven teeth, the more I look the more imperfections I see. Were they always there? Why I never saw how ugly I am before? Does it even matter? You might ask yourself some questions like this. A reasonable explanation could be, Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) a disorder that every 1 out of 50 individuals face making about 5 million to 10 million individuals across the US, that makes people to believe that parts of their body look ugly, where people spend hours looking at themselves in the mirror trying to fix and cover up. And worry about minor details that normally others wouldn’t even notice.
There are remedies to treat that. But not everyone obviously had BDD, I wonder if the people that feel unhappy about their looks are they really looking at beauty from their own eyes or others eyes? I mean they say “beauty lies within the eyes of the beholder” are we so blinded by the “picture perfect” when the picture perfect we are looking at (celebrities, so called influencers, models) only seem perfect with makeup hiding as many flaws as they can, hundreds of filters, so much editing is done. What we think is perfect beauty is all fake then? No there are people that everyone agrees look pretty. But then a large number out of them still do not believe they are beautiful enough.
Famous Pakistani actress Iman Aly, loved and praised by thousands of fans all over Pakistan in an interview said “I don’t like the way I look…. especially because people say I am so beautiful”. In 2017, Kim Taehyung, a south Korean singer, songwriter philanthropist was ranked No.1 in TC Candler’s “The 100 Most Handsome Faces of 2017.” In 2019, he was enlisted amongst the most handsome faces and later in 2020 and 2021 he was in the top names of the list. But he himself revealed he does not like taking selfies anymore because of his face.
On average many people who don’t even know him would think he is handsome, but why do so many people feel that way and is there anything we can do about it. Why is it even such a big of a deal for many? Personally, I feel the image of beauty and insecurity is deeply related to social media. We see “influencers” glorifying useless beauty standards. Just because I think my cousin is pretty and she does not find herself beautiful does it really mean she is ugly? No!! everyone has a different standard for beauty I guess. If they’re famous and many say they’re beautiful does not really mean you have to convince yourself to believe that too. Like many others, I too believe “beauty lies within the eyes of the beholder”. So, if you think that you are ugly, just because you think that way, does not really mean it is true.
You need to find ways to become a better version of yourself everyday little by little, even it is hard, improve yourself and try to love yourself. Be your best friend. Find love in yourself. Loving yourself is the first step in loving humanity. Beauty is subjective, and it might matter to us but what we need to do is to try to become the best version of ourselves and believe that we all are the creation of God, and what he creates is always flawless. So, let us try to accept ourselves as we are. Be strong and love yourself. (BTS runs a campaign for the same cause, to each his own but it has helped millions of people to deal with their inner demons dragging them down, it might help you too). Take a deep breath and wonder, how can you find God’s creation ugly? Just wonder.
(WRITTEN BY SARA SALEEM)
